The consequences of a lack of self-confidence are numerous and sometimes disastrous, but never irremediable: the inability to say no, to take decisions, situations suffered, unsuccessful professional vocations, depression, chronic stress….
Just listening to our clients, and giving them positive signs of recognition that they haven’t been used to, can give them a boost. Giving them permission is also very beneficial (right to make mistakes, right to go through a bad patch…).
The accompaniment of the lack of self-confidence by coaching has its limits , and must sometimes be supplemented by a psychological follow-up (which will help to treat the intra-psychic reasons of the lack of self-confidence). That’s where working with Integrated Therapy has so many benefits. We can tap into our toolbox to help you in many ways.
What is self-confidence?
It is a feeling that stems from the self-esteem that we manage to grant ourselves.
This self-esteem is calibrated on the basis of an ideal of the self that each person forges through their history, their beliefs, their education. For illustration, a student who often has 18/20, and to whom it is systematically explained that he could have done better, risks setting the bar very high with regard to his “ideal of the self”.
As proof, the exercise which consists in asking my clients: “for our next session, tell me who is the ideal Sylvie? “. Few clients succeed. This exercise makes them uncomfortable because their ideal of the self is very often that of that others have chosen for them, and they do not know what they expect of themselves. By asking the question “Who would I ideally be?” », They finally ask themselves the right question.
To measure these indicators (self-confidence, self-esteem) and measure progress during coaching, we use, among others, the following tools:
- Client’s description of their self-ideal
- Questionnaire to measure the level of self-confidence in several areas
- Test to identify areas on which to focus efforts to improve self-esteem?
- Test to measure your overall level of self-esteem
- Discovery of certain transactional analysis tools (life positions, states of the ego, dramatic triangle, etc.) which are very useful in this area.
- Practice of self-affirmation exercises (e.g. responding to a criticism, a compliment)
- Development of the client’s fears and implementation of action plans to reduce them
- Work around the concept of failure . I ask clients to tell me about their greatest failure.
- Ask clients what they lack in order to be fulfilled, and invite them to communicate their needs to those around them (explain how they work)
We thus help our clients to identify the areas in which they must, if necessary, implement a change:
• In their relationship to themselves (which sometimes comes under psychotherapy)
• In their relation to action (concerning, for example, people having difficulty in making decisions or those who put everything off until the next day, procrastinators)
• In their relationship to others (which comes under relational coaching that we essentially practice with the reference framework of transactional analysis)